Saturday night fever

Saturday afternoon:
Christopher and I are having dinner with Mishelle tonight. We are eating Edo and she is sleeping. We have scarcely seen the whites of her eyes for 2 days now. I brought in a few pictures of her yesterday to hang on her message board. One is a baby picture and one is when she was about 30. She looks so beautiful. I just wanted the nurses to see how she looked before all this. They were thrilled to see it and said that it is always nice to see people looking healthy.

The fact that she is not responding to us makes me wonder what is going on in her mind. We know she can hear us because when we talk to her she responds by shaking her head or lifting her hand. I keep expecting her to open her eyes and ask to get out of bed and into her chair. She looks very peaceful, gone is the furrow in her brow. I could always tell when she was in pain before, I don't see it now. Her face looks soft and serene. If this is how it's going to look until she passes, I would say that we have achieved a miracle. However .... it aint over until the skinny lady sings.

Sunday afternoon:
This is where it gets hard. We are amazed at how good Mishelles complexion looks. However, lurking on the under side is some very sore spots. She is so thin that any place that there is pressure, very hot red patches are appearing. Because she is so still (and prefers to be on her back)she doesn't indicate that she has any pain. It was discovered last night that she had a few spots of major concern and the nurses on that shift were amazing. They washed her down and got some big fuzzy sheep skins to put under her. They spent almost 20 minutes getting her positioned so she was comfortable. She seems to be a little more lucid today and is asking for Popsicles. She is very very weak but I still see her in there. We see big changes every day.

This place has quite an interesting energy. If you observed it on a spiritual level I imagine it would look like an airport, lots of taking off but no landings. Being a person who is, lets say sensitive to spirit energy. I haven't physically seen many of the other patients but I feel like they all come to visit before they move on.

On the subject of the hospice....
I believe that angels walk among us. If not angels then highly evolved souls. These would be the woman who work in the hospice. Daily, they face the thing most people fear the most. Death. They approach their work in a giving and completely fearless manor. You need a superior sense of being present to do this work. I have seen how much care is required by the dying and can only imagine how difficult some situations may be or could become. Our automatic reaction might be to turn tail and run. You would have to live in the moment to get through some of these tough circumstances. This ability can be achieved by anyone, but to do it consistently every day takes a very special someone. When I come here to the hospice, I feel safe, tightly embraced and cushioned by care and compassion.
The strength these women exude is humbling and I am so grateful for them.


We have been here 8 days as of today.