Another sleepless night

You know, I totally don't mind sleeping here with Mishelle. However, she scares me a little with all the sounds she makes in the night. I find myself sleeping with one eye open to see if she is still breathing.

It's so quiet here. The hospital was brutal because ever two minutes you would hear the announcement on who needed a break through or who was stranded in their bathroom. Shelly slept from 10:00 pm until 2:00 today and has some confusion. This is due to the fact that she has only had about 4 ounces of water every day. I see her becoming a little weaker each day.

Today Mom, Jessie and I are camped out in her room. Mom and I took her for a long walk around the facility and parked her chair facing the amazing mountain scene. It's a beautiful sunny day and the fresh air felt good. She is so appreciative of every little thing we do.
She twitches a lot when she sleeps and I think that her mind is very busy now. She tells me that she lives in 2 vessels right now. One is a world of imagination and wonder, the other is reality. She can tell the difference between the two and tells me which one she is in occasionally.
She is so stinking cute some times. And others she seems like she is going to try to stand up without warning and it scare the hell out of me.

She still doesn't want any company other then a few family members. This is part of the process of turning inward and letting go. Soon she will withdraw from those of us who are the closest to her as well. Selfishly, I want to keep all these moment for myself. I feel like a mother bear who wants to protect her, because she can't protect herself. I am, for all intensive purposes, the gate keeper.
I would also like to take a moment to thank a few people. There are many that have come in the last few days and I feel like I haven't or didn't express enough appreciation for your visits.

Cathy P for the kick ass foot rubs - (Mishelle loves them)

Cheryl for taking all my crazy phone calls, your sound advice and super support for Mishelle and me.

Sandi - YOU ARE MY ROCK!!

Doc and Roe? and their sweet little man for bringing laughter on a day when we really needed it.

Karen T. For the magnificent flower arrangement and beautiful note. Mishelle was so excited to see it. (I don't know if you saw the flowers Karen, but they are very beautiful, and she loved it) Her comment was that She was glad she had made an impression on someone.

Brad B. You give great hugs!! I know it was a hug from the whole family and we totally appreciate that. I am sorry you were not able to see her, but thank you for coming anyway.

Carol and Danny for bringing the best entertainment us girls have had for a long while. Shelly actually sat in her wheel chair last night and laughed out loud. The hydrangea is beautiful and one of Mishelles favorite flowers.

Kathi, it was great to see your comment on the blog. I told Mishelle about your note and she was happy to hear from you. And yes, you are right, life is to short and we should do and say the things we want to when given the opportunity.

I am sure I may have missed a few people and I am not including family in there because you know you are loved and appreciated.

We are planning a nice quiet evening of American Idol (Mishelles all time favorite show) and perhaps a movie on the fabulous flat screen for Sandi, Jessie and I.

Until Tomorrow