I guess I should learn how to spell. Well, it has become apparent that we are stepping a little closer to the light. Last night and this afternoon were hard for Mishelle. Her bowel is now completely obstructed. She can no longer take any medication by mouth and can only take fluids by the swish and spit method. The implications of this are huge. But in typical Mishelle style, she insisted on swishing and spitting Coke at one point this afternoon! (they never said what the liquid should be)
The child like innocence I was trying to describe in Mishelle .. I now see it for what it is. It's her true nature shining through her dissolving body. She has shed all the things that the rest of us hang onto. Status, self pity, envy, competition, resentment and anger. She has no fear and has let go of opinions, concepts and ideas, she has returned to her true self.
I wonder what kind of mind and heart can stay so strong and open in the midst of so much chaos. I guess it's a mind that goes back to basic survival mode.
I see that this is part of the process of dying. Your mind goes methodically goes through what it must keep and what it must let go of. For her, and all the physical suffering she has endured. I am amazed that she chose this path. No anger, Just peace, contentment and happiness.
I have taken the night off to get a good nights sleep and eat food other than twizzlers and coffee. It's Jessies turn to wrestle the couch tonight. We have started to tag team on the sleep overs. Thank you to everyone who has brought us food, we totally appreciate it.
That's it for tonight
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Renee, you're doing an incredible job of keeping us up-to-date on how Mishelle is doing. What you've been writing in your Blog is so well written and in-depth that it always leaves me wanting more. You're amazing.....Mishelle is so very lucky to have a sister like you. Please know she's in our thoughts - she's on MY mind 24/7. Let her know we're loving having Joey with us. Please, please pass on all our love! I love her.....
ReplyDeletePlease give Mishelle a big hug from me. I wish I could be there to do it myself. Her strength is inspiring. Thank you so much for keeping this updated.
ReplyDeleteRenee, your sister's keeper... as Mishelle's spririt grows brighter it seems that as hard as this process is for you, your insights show how much she is giving back. Thank you so much for sharing yourself. Continue to be strong - you are also full of courage. Thank you for continuing to post when so much else is happening.
ReplyDeleteHello Renee. My name is Trish McMurray and I worked with Mishelle at 20/20 Law Group. We only recently learned how sick Mishelle was. Please let her know that she is in all of our thoughts and prayers. You are a wonderful sister Renee and I know that what you and your famiy are going through is difficult and painful beyond imagining. You and Mishelle are both truly inspiring. The strenth and courage that you have both displayed throughout have been nothing short of amazing. Thank you so much for keeping everyone updated Renee. Trish
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